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Enough wit places one above his equal; too much of it lowers him to the rank of mere entertainer.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Embarrassed
11:48AM
So I'm sort of embarrassed to see what I've written on here. It's so sad. I feel so unaccomplished. I know I didn't set my sights too high here. I've just lost all the rhythm and inspiration. All the best vibes I had for this band seem "cancelled". Right around the time the actual show was cancelled. I feel beaten and alone, and I must say I don't have any inspiration or want of losing weight right now. It's a new low for me. I'm not depressed - at least not on the outside - but today I'm realizing just how much time I've wasted; all these false hopes. I'm feeling dejected right now.
I've been spending nearly all of my time reading. And that's fine, but when you combine it with NO exercise and no food restricition, it's not all that great. I feel smarter, sure. (<<< And that's great.) But I don't feel lighter. In fact, I weigh 10lbs less than where I first started! :( Damn! That. Just. Sucks.
I know. I should be saying stuff like, "get back on the horse, or try, try, again" but I'm being realistic here. I first started gaining on Halloween. Haven't lost a pound since. I ended the year off with a total of 7,355 minutes of exercise and that's great! I'm proud of that! But all my energy that I once had, all that resisting I've done seems like a waste and an embarassment. I could do it before, but I can't do it now? What's up with that?! Well, no seems to get this, but I did it all for the band I love! Now that I don't "love" them like I used to . . . . UGH! It's . . . embarassing that all my energy and all that "wanting to lose weight" came from a love for a band. It's only embarassing because I can't find any inspiration elsewhere. I'm totally bummed out about that. All this has been one depressing blog post, but I've nothing else to say. I know we're supposed to revolve around the positive of every situation but right now . . . I don't know. I'm not going to give up. But I'm about a thread away from saying "to hell with it".
I don't want to let my MFP buddies down. I really don't. I just need them to know this is a hard time. I really don't want them to give up on me. I appreciate their support more than they'll ever know. And it hurts when someone deletes you because "you don't seem to be making an effort". If you think about it, that logic is completely backwards! We're supposed to be supporting our friends when they're at their worst, help them when they fall! Don't delete them and kick 'em while they're down! I didn't appreciate being deleted and I'm VERY raw about it.
Anyway... I'm going to try. I WILL.
Don't give up on me just yet.
12:08PM
So I'm sort of embarrassed to see what I've written on here. It's so sad. I feel so unaccomplished. I know I didn't set my sights too high here. I've just lost all the rhythm and inspiration. All the best vibes I had for this band seem "cancelled". Right around the time the actual show was cancelled. I feel beaten and alone, and I must say I don't have any inspiration or want of losing weight right now. It's a new low for me. I'm not depressed - at least not on the outside - but today I'm realizing just how much time I've wasted; all these false hopes. I'm feeling dejected right now.
I've been spending nearly all of my time reading. And that's fine, but when you combine it with NO exercise and no food restricition, it's not all that great. I feel smarter, sure. (<<< And that's great.) But I don't feel lighter. In fact, I weigh 10lbs less than where I first started! :( Damn! That. Just. Sucks.
I know. I should be saying stuff like, "get back on the horse, or try, try, again" but I'm being realistic here. I first started gaining on Halloween. Haven't lost a pound since. I ended the year off with a total of 7,355 minutes of exercise and that's great! I'm proud of that! But all my energy that I once had, all that resisting I've done seems like a waste and an embarassment. I could do it before, but I can't do it now? What's up with that?! Well, no seems to get this, but I did it all for the band I love! Now that I don't "love" them like I used to . . . . UGH! It's . . . embarassing that all my energy and all that "wanting to lose weight" came from a love for a band. It's only embarassing because I can't find any inspiration elsewhere. I'm totally bummed out about that. All this has been one depressing blog post, but I've nothing else to say. I know we're supposed to revolve around the positive of every situation but right now . . . I don't know. I'm not going to give up. But I'm about a thread away from saying "to hell with it".
I don't want to let my MFP buddies down. I really don't. I just need them to know this is a hard time. I really don't want them to give up on me. I appreciate their support more than they'll ever know. And it hurts when someone deletes you because "you don't seem to be making an effort". If you think about it, that logic is completely backwards! We're supposed to be supporting our friends when they're at their worst, help them when they fall! Don't delete them and kick 'em while they're down! I didn't appreciate being deleted and I'm VERY raw about it.
Anyway... I'm going to try. I WILL.
Don't give up on me just yet.
12:08PM
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
November 23, 2011
6:42AM
Just saw Breaking Dawn pt. 1 yesterday. :) Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. The scale can wait!
6:43AM
音楽
Saturday, October 1, 2011
October 1, 2011
3:21PM
I've made up my mind on my plans for October..
3:25PM
I've made up my mind on my plans for October..
- To workout 1,000min total.. (at least)
- To workout 5/7 days of the week
- To hit the 40lb mark
3:25PM
Friday, September 30, 2011
September 30, 2011
10:41PM
Happy birthday Jo. Umm this is the last day of September.. The month in which I would've seen my favorite band in concert. Luckily they're back on tour now. Yay. :/ I wanted to freakin go.
Tomorrow I'll be really back on track. I've set my goals. See ya September. It could've been more.
10:44PM
音楽
Thursday, September 8, 2011
September 8, 2011
8:09AM
What I'm doing up at 8AM, I'll never know. Great news!! I've been losing weight.. Super excited about that. I've been taking walks and eating better. :) It's been rainy for the last couple of days.
It's so cold right now I can barely write, well type. Whatever. Oh! We might be taking another trip to Oklahoma! Too early to really tell though. Anyway I think I've said the important parts. Losing weight, finally. It feels good! I hope I can stick to it. :)
I meditated two nights ago. I swear that what it was. I always do great when I meditate. I realize how grateful I am for everything I have, I love my life. ***
8:15AM
音楽
Thursday, September 1, 2011
September 1, 2011
2:47PM
*sighs* Today is a sort of depressing day for me, but it's also the start of me tackling what needs to be done. September, it's just you and me this month. I plan on kicking butt... but I'm tired already.
Yesterday I was supposed to add one last post of my August Challenge. But to be honest, August was a major flop anyway. Today stands for so many things. I know what I should be doing today, where I should be, and who I should be seeing with my very own eyes. But I've been through all this before.
Yesterday I finally went to the gym (at the worst possible moment I might add). Prayer session nearby and some girls from school just had to walk in. Whatever.
This is Day 1. Day of you-know-what.
2:51PM
*sighs* Today is a sort of depressing day for me, but it's also the start of me tackling what needs to be done. September, it's just you and me this month. I plan on kicking butt... but I'm tired already.
Yesterday I was supposed to add one last post of my August Challenge. But to be honest, August was a major flop anyway. Today stands for so many things. I know what I should be doing today, where I should be, and who I should be seeing with my very own eyes. But I've been through all this before.
Yesterday I finally went to the gym (at the worst possible moment I might add). Prayer session nearby and some girls from school just had to walk in. Whatever.
This is Day 1. Day of you-know-what.
2:51PM
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